Background and Identity

Age: 26
Location: Boston
Ethnicity: Chinese-American
Gender Identity: Transgender man
Current job: Project manager at Wayfair, an online home goods company

Childhood and Family

Grew up in the US with a traditional Chinese grandfather who was deeply set in his ways.
Felt pressure to conform to societal expectations due to cultural norms.
Attended an all-girls high school where they had to wear skirts.

Navigating Identity and Expectations

Struggled with feelings of inadequacy and shame about being perceived as “soft” or feminine, which he attributes to genetics and traditional Chinese beauty standards.
Has been read as effeminate man by others, which has led him to feel like an imposter in male-dominated spaces.
Now that he is perceived as a man, he notices the difference in how people treat him: more respect, direct answers, and assumed expertise.

Privileges and Responsibilities

Grapples with the privileges of being perceived as a man while also acknowledging his past experiences as a woman.
Strives to strike a balance between remembering the feelings of marginalization and taking advantage of the opportunities available to men in power positions.
Makes an effort to create space for others to contribute in meetings, particularly women.

Relationship with Grandfather

Regrets not sharing his true identity with his grandfather before he passed away.
Wonders how their relationship might have been different if he had known and accepted him as a man.
Reflects on the traditional Chinese values that were imposed upon him, such as caring more about his grades or taking care of others.

Overall, Alex Poon’s story is one of navigating identity, expectations, and privilege in a society where cultural norms often conflict with personal desires. He grapples with the complexities of being perceived as both male and female and seeks to create space for himself and others in power positions.